Are you grounded in your knowing? Do you trust yourself?
We live in a sea of energy and are influenced by the thoughts and opinions of others. We get messages all the time from our body, from unhealed parts of ourself, from well-meaning friends and family members, from professionals, and thankfully, from our guides, higher self, and soul.
How are you at discerning the source of your messages?
How are you at centering and making clear decisions?
How about when you are in the midst of chaos and stress? Do you have access to your knowing? Is it rock-solid?
Likely, you are strong and confident in many areas of your life. Most of us are solid in some areas and experience anxiety or insecurity in others. You might run a very successful business, lead a team of people and be at the top of your field and yet when it comes to your experiences with fertility, find yourself experiencing anxiety for the first time in your life.
For some women, it’s hard to make decisions about food or men, or where to live or how to make good choices for their career. For some women creating a family is automatic. We are all different.
If your knowing is intact and you aren’t easily rattled regardless of circumstances, then you may happily skip this post! 🙂 If you aren’t sure, ask yourself…
- Are you able to discern the difference and know where your messages come from?
- Are you confident in your decisions when the stakes are high and personal?
- Can you tell the difference between fearful thoughts vs. guidance?
- Can you tell when to take action and when to calm yourself and wait?
- Can you tell the difference between your higher self or soul’s signature and your baby’s?
Trusting yourself and knowing the highest path to take can be challenging at any time. When the stakes are high and when emotions are involved it can be even more difficult. When there is a timeline whether it is actual or self-imposed, the pressure is on. And when you are anxious or stressed, your ability to discern and make good choices may be compromised. It begins a loop. You know you aren’t centered, but you have to decide, and yet you aren’t connected with your core stably enough to feel confident or clear.
Over the years, I’ve observed that most of my clients experience anxiety at some point during their journey to motherhood. It might be before they conceive. They aren’t sure if they should start trying, if they should see this doctor or that one, do another round of IVF, adopt. Some are concerned they won’t be a good enough mom, or that they are with the wrong partner, or that they are running out of time.
Some aren’t particularly anxious, but aren’t sure if they are really perceiving their baby’s soul or if they are just making it up.
And many of them experience anxiety or stress around all the choices that come up during pregnancy or an adoption or surrogacy process.
Is my baby healthy?
Am I eating the right foods?
Does this movement or lack of movement in my womb mean anything?
Is my child safe in Africa?
How can I get through all this red tape?
Is the birth mother safe? Is she taking drugs or in an abusive situation?
You get the picture.
This is all normal. If you experience this you will get through it. For a lot of women, once their baby is with them, the anxiety goes away or lessens. For others, the anxiety lessens at a certain point during the pregnancy. Your timing will be yours.
When your baby comes, you are going to have a LOT of choices to make, and a lot of opinions coming your way about the way you are mothering.
Will you vaccinate?
Is your baby developing properly?
What parenting techniques resonate with you? Cloth or disposable?
What school is best for your child?
This will go on and on.
In my view, this is part of mothering and it begins the moment you decide you want to create a family. This is true in any life, we have daily choices to make that may affect the rest of our life, our health, our happiness. And there is something about becoming a mom, the stakes may feel higher to you. You are choosing for more than just you. From what you eat to who you partner with to who your caregivers are, your timing, everything.
You will surrender and allow. You will make great choices, maybe some mistakes along the way. You will rely on one or more trusted allies, perhaps a best friend, family member, your partner, professionals.
If you can get a handle on getting centered and clear about what is yours and what is not before you have a child, that will serve you well. If you can anchor into your own knowing before you become a mom, you’ll feel more confident and successful as a mom and in all areas of your life.
What can you do to set yourself up well now? How can you develop your ability to discern and trust yourself regardless of what is going on? Who is on your team of trusted allies?
We fall to the level of our practice, so now is a great time to develop the muscles of centering and making decisions from a place of confidence.