What do you do if you find yourself accidentally pregnant? Unexpectedly expecting?
From my perspective, nothing beats going right to the soul level and figuring out the highest pathway forward from that place. Connect with your own higher self and soul first. Once that is stable, connecting with your baby in utero is possible and does not mean you are committed.
Bringing consciousness and love to the situation is a wise choice, and does not mean that you have to say yes to becoming a mother. It’s really common to be afraid to connect when you have ambivalence, but I encourage you to do it.
Why not get to know this being and asking why he or she has come? You can ask things like…
…Why are you here?
….Why are you here now?
…Are you connected to me or to baby daddy?
…What is your life purpose?
And anything else that is on your mind. If this is a co-creation, which in my opinion, it is, then you can find out a bit more about why you are in this situation and discern the highest path for all involved going forward.
Take this opportunity to show this being more about you. This is your life, and his or her arrival was not consciously in your plans at this time. Show him or her your life purpose. The vision you have for your life.
Is it a match? Is this the highest flow for all involved? If you haven’t already, you can listen to the podcast about adoption to hear stories about how sometimes the reasons a soul will come to a particular mother (you) isn’t always what we assume.
Sometimes babies come and want to be with you for a short time, and leave through a miscarriage. Maybe they wanted to have a taste of being in a body and plan to come back again later.
If you feel overwhelmed and shaken, know that is a normal response. You may be flooded with new sensations and unfamiliar hormone levels. Even if you are feeling joyful you can feel scared and unsure. If this is true for you, here is a process that can really help create some structure and support for your personality.
- Pick a deadline when you will decide what to do. The reality is that you don’t have forever and can’t put it off.
- Get a notebook.
- Divide up the time between now and your deadline into 4 equal segments. e.g,, if it is a month timeline you have 4 weeks. If it is a week you could do 2 days each.
- In a segment (for 2 days, a week) you are going to completely research your YES. Do things that support that, for example, your notebook journal about mothering this child as if you’ve already made your choice. In your yes week, go to baby stores, talk to women who had another baby when they didn’t plan it, etc. Notice how you feel. During the alternate segment of time, your NO days or weeks, you are researching not mothering this child. You are journaling that you have decided no, writing it as if you have already made your decision. Look at how you’d spend your time and resources differently, dream of your life without children, talk to women who decided not to raise children.
P.S. This process is also great if you are ambivalent about becoming a mom, or if you are facing yet another IVF and aren’t sure if you want to move forward with it.