Is Childhood Abuse Causing Your Infertility?
If you have not suffered trauma such as childhood sexual abuse or rape, then you can skip this post. However, this has shown up in my practice and what I’ve observed may be of use to you. Please read on if it applies to you or a client of yours. For many women who suffer unexplained infertility, unprocessed and even repressed or unconscious trauma can be a cause.
According toThe U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Children’s Bureau, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. Because of statistics like these, it feels important to share this information with you. You can research other relevant statistics, but for our purposes, if you are a victim of this kind of abuse, this post is for you.
First I want to acknowledge that if you are reading this you’ve likely done your share of processing and healing already, so maybe you don’t need this information and can skip it. However, in good faith I can not omit this information and fulfill the purpose of this blog, which is to empower you on your journey to motherhood and to help you attain vibrational resonance with your incoming child.
Sexual abuse and rape carry old paradigm patterns and may not be part of the lineage your child is interested in taking on. As mentioned previously, there are plenty of souls (perhaps you) who have chosen or are choosing to incarnate into a family where abuse is a certainty, for their own healing, learning journey. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about new paradigm, evolutionary beings who wont come in until some of the energetic patterns have been shifted. OK? Can we agree that I am not talking about ALL souls or all baby beings? Just some. Maybe a tiny percentage.
And so in this post are two perspectives on the topic:
- What if your baby doesn’t want the pattern?
- What if your physical, emotional, and/or mental body won’t allow it?
If you’ve experienced trauma, it’s yours to process as much as you can before they come. In some cases, as with the other things we’ve discussed thus far, they won’t come until you do. That is a big pill to swallow. It is not the case for all kids, plenty of kids are born to mom’s who were abused. It’s just with some of these high beings, they are here to help you grow and their arrival may mean the acceleration of your healing in preparation for the energetic and physical environment they desire.
Even if they will come anyway, don’t you want to do this for them? A woman’s unprocessed emotion and patterns will imprint on her baby’s limbic brain at the time of birth, so take the motivation before the baby comes, while you desire to conceive, to prepare the temple of your body, mind, emotions and spirit as beautifully as you can for this soul you are choosing to sponsor.
The first time I became aware of the link between infertility and pelvic trauma was during a client session. A woman in her late 30’s came and was distraught by her unexplained infertility. Like many women, she hoped there was a quick answer, an easy fix.
For some of my clients, they need only one session to help overcome a misalignment between their head and their heart, perhaps a fear of not having enough money, and they quickly become pregnant. For others who choose to embrace and tackle their obstacles on these often unseen levels, the journey is longer, more arduous. In this woman’s case, she was not prepared to go into the trauma to resolve it, and did not become pregnant. This does not mean that if you had this experience, you can’t get pregnant. It does mean you might have to heal another layer of your trauma and it may require your courage and commitment to do so.
During a client session I am not in charge at the level of my personality. I do not decide ahead of time what is going to happen or what my client needs. Instead, her own system, her soul, her baby and her guides are in charge. In this particular session, partway in I was shown her womb. It looked calloused. That is the best way I can describe it, there was a thick casing that looked to me like physical material surrounding her uterus.
I don’t think if a doctor had been able to feel and examine her uterus, she would have noticed this thick material, I’m sure it was energy. To my awareness, however, the energy is often just as real as holding a uterus in your hands would be for a doctor.
My client’s brilliant system had helped her manage the trauma of her abuse by creating an energy callous. This part of her system held the trauma, had contained it for her so that she could survive and cope. Our bodies and energy bodies are smart, sophisticated, and adaptable. This strategy worked perfectly for her until she wanted to conceive and carry a child. And instead of having a receptive, fertile place for implantation and growing life, her womb was more of a fortress, impenetrable.
There is nothing wrong with this strategy or this choice. On the contrary, it’s quite smart. The problem is, my client was going to need to open the vault of this energy, untangle it, digest it, dissolve and resolve it in order to get pregnant. The choice was hers to make, the journey hers to take.
If this resonates for you, if you suspect this might apply in your situation, breathe. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You are strong and adaptable and have an amazing body that has helped you become the woman you are, able to love and be healthy, able to want to pour your heart and soul into the care and fostering of another.
If it resonates, this is something to take into thoughtful and compassionate consideration. This is between you, your God, and your body.
If you were abused or raped, please embrace your body’s truth with deep respect. Know that your body was overruled during that trauma. Your consciousness may have had the luxury of leaving while your body stayed and experienced an inescapable abuse. Now you get to partner with your body and the parts of you that suffered. You get to be present and loving, to listen to and honor your sacred temple, your precious body.
If you suspect your infertility may be related to a trauma you’ve experienced, get the help you need and make sure you are supported every step of the way, as much as you need to be supported. Give yourself time to heal and make peace with your body, let your body get on board with your choice to open and be penetrated by consciousness and energy, to receive and give life. You have the chance now to really partner with your body, to give it praise for being so smart and for knowing what to do. The game has changed from the uterus being a fortress to being a welcoming receptacle, a sacred temple for life. Let your body know this is what’s up. Give your body a chance to acclimate to the new instructions.
During your pregnancy, there will be much happening in your pelvis. You’ll have a living, growing, radiant being bringing all of his or her own energy to that area of your body. You will experience many proddings and pokings by midwives and medical professionals. And then there is the birth experience itself.
There is every reason that you can choose to have a child if you were raped or abused. No one gets to take that from you, your right to procreate. If you experience layers that come up when you least expect it, then have your eyes open, accept that. Don’t sweep it under the rug. Your body is trying to protect you, and if you can join forces with yourself at these levels perhaps it can let go, open and surrender.
It’s possible that by simply listening to your body on this topic and aligning with respect, you won’t experience any discomfort during your pregnancy or birth. You get to create the safe environment for yourself. Acknowledge that you might encounter some sadness or overwhelm as you move through the process. Let your body know you’ll be present through it if that happens. If it feels right, let your partner and trusted caregivers know that you might need extra support. There is a book called When Survivors Give Birth that you can look for if you want to read more.
Having said all of that, in my desire to empower you and help you conceive your child there is of course another option. If at some point you decide it’s too much for you, there is no shame in that. If you decide that the hurdles are too high, that you don’t have the stamina, the time, the desire to move through what seems to be asked of you, that is honorable. This is your body and your life.
Choosing to change your mind and not have a child, perhaps to adopt or to change your mind entirely about being a mom, it’s your choice. No one can take it from you. Your body. Your life force. Your generative power. Yours. You can use it and share it how you like.
Saying no is simply a different co-creative choice to embrace and surround with Love. It could be an opportunity to dive into another layer of your own healing and reclamation. It may take you in a new direction as to how you will choose to use your generative power in this life. It could open new possibilities for your creativity and life purpose. And it may bring you great relief and peace.
Whatever you decide, this time, it’s your decision.